As someone who taught at both a college and a university, I am fully aware that college is not for everyone. I’ve seen students thrive. I’ve seen students flounder. I’ve seen students waste money because they were there for all the wrong reasons.
But as a momma? I knew in my bones that college was the best next step for our son.
Here’s the twist: knowing something and pushing something are not the same thing.
And because he isn’t my first child, I also knew this was a season to keep my opinions mostly to myself.
The Young Man in Question
A few things about him:
He’s wildly smart across a wide range of subjects.
He loves a good debate.
He hates wasting money.
And he had absolutely no idea what he wanted to major in.
He loves a good debate.
He hates wasting money.
And he had absolutely no idea what he wanted to major in.
Translation? He wasn’t convinced college made sense.
My husband and I respected that. Truly. But when we asked what he wanted to do instead, there wasn’t an answer. So I made a very simple request:
“Just apply to four or five schools. That doesn’t mean you have to go. It just means you’ll have options.”
You may remember that he didn’t even apply until January of his senior year. Yes, January. We are living proof that the cultural frenzy to have your entire life mapped out by junior year is… unnecessary.
Acceptance letters started rolling in not long after. I asked him to visit one or two campuses. Not commit. Just look.
The First Visit: Logical and Underwhelming
The first school that accepted him offered a solid scholarship package. He attended admitted student day, sat in on a class, came home… and was completely unimpressed.
“The class wasn’t any harder than my dual enrollment classes at the community college. Why would I pay for that?”
It was a fair point. A logical one. I couldn’t argue with him.
So I didn’t.
The School We Quietly Hoped For
Then came the email from the school my husband and I secretly thought would be perfect for him. They invited him to compete for a full four-year scholarship.
It also happened to be one of the only schools we know that stacks scholarships for Eagle Scouts on top of academic awards. As parents of an Eagle Scout, that caught our attention.
I encouraged him to interview. “If nothing else,” I told him, “interview experience is always valuable.”
He agreed.
The event was incredible. The students were sharp. The faculty engaged. The parents’ panel honest and encouraging. It felt different.
But at the end of the day?
Still no decision.
The Unexpected Voice of Clarity
The next day, families were invited to tour campus more casually, so our youngest daughter came along.
About an hour in, she leaned over and whispered, “This is the perfect fit for him.”
I asked why.
“Everyone is so smart and polite. Just like he is.”
Out of the mouths of siblings.
I told her I agreed — and also told her not to say a word. The last thing we wanted was for him to feel pressured.
The Campus Store Moment
If you’ve never toured colleges, this may sound ridiculous, but our oldest daughter bought a shirt or sweatshirt at every campus she visited — even ones she didn’t attend. Apparently this is a thing.
We ended the day in the campus store.
And y’all… I wanted a sticker for my car so badly.
But he still hadn’t said a word.
As we wandered between racks of hoodies and shelves of branded mugs, I finally asked:
“Okay. If not here… then where?”
He looked down and quietly said, “I made up my mind months ago. I just didn’t think you’d believe me.”
I’m fairly certain my jaw actually hit the floor.
“I want to go here.”
I was thrilled. Not because he chose what we hoped — but because I truly believed this place would stretch him, sharpen him, and surround him with people who would challenge him in the best ways.
But I had to know.
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
He hesitated. Then softly said, “What if I come here and then don’t like it?”
Oh, that momma heart moment.
This wasn’t indecision. It was weight. Responsibility. The fear of making the wrong choice.
So I told him the simplest truth I could:
“Then you leave and do something else. Not a problem.”
The Shift
I wish you could have seen him.
His shoulders lifted. His eyes came up from the floor. The heaviness evaporated.
Within minutes he was talking about:
- Getting a new bookbag
- Campus jobs
- Whether he’d need a used car
- Classes he thought would interest him
Suddenly, his future felt exciting again.
And yes. I bought the sticker.
The Real Lesson (For Me)
This wasn’t a story about picking the “right” college.
It was a lesson in patience.
In not forcing the outcome I thought was best.
In giving him the tools to evaluate wisely — and then having the courage to step back and let him use them.
This time, his decision aligned with what we had quietly hoped for. But I’m not naïve. It easily could have gone another direction. And I had already done the internal work to be supportive no matter what he chose.
Because at the end of the day, the win wasn’t the school.
The win was watching him own his decision.
For the Parents in the Back
If your child waits until the last minute…
If they change their mind…
If they consider a gap year…
If they pivot entirely…
If they change their mind…
If they consider a gap year…
If they pivot entirely…
Breathe.
Our job isn’t to control the outcome.
It’s to prepare them for it.
It’s to prepare them for it.
When they know they can choose — and that home remains steady no matter what — that’s when you see the confidence return.
(And for those who love a spoiler: he made Dean’s List his first semester, found an incredible group of friends, and is thriving.
And to the people who still insist homeschooling ruins college chances? We’ll just quietly smile over here.)
Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. That means if you click through and make a purchase within a certain time frame, I may earn a small commission—paid by the retailer, not you. It’s one of the ways I support this little business of mine, and it allows me to keep writing, sharing, and chronicling life here at Ginnyhoo. As always, I only recommend things I truly use, love, or would happily tell a friend about across the kitchen table.
Here is a permission slip for advice I wish I had embraced much earlier in our homeschooling journey. It really is okay to pivot, even months into the school year. I'd love to hear your stories, as well as any questions you may have. Also, follow me on Instagram @ginnyhoo for more tips and insights.
Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. That means if you click through and make a purchase within a certain time frame, I may earn a small commission—paid by the retailer, not you. It’s one of the ways I support this little business of mine, and it allows me to keep writing, sharing, and chronicling life here at Ginnyhoo. As always, I only recommend things I truly use, love, or would happily tell a friend about across the kitchen table.
It was a spring day in 1997, and I was sitting at the dining room table in my sorority house, having lunch with about ten sisters. Several of us had come from a history class, and the conversation had spilled over. I don’t remember exactly how we got there, but I very vividly remember the sister who stated, “You can’t be a feminist if you don’t work outside of the home.”
I had a visceral reaction to this statement. I knew right away that I didn’t agree with it, but I was watching as almost everyone around me nodded their heads in agreement or made statements of affirmation. Lunch was wrapping up, and I decided not to speak at that moment because I was still formulating my thoughts.
You see, even as a 20 year old, I believed feminism should be about women choosing what was best for their family, whether that was the mother staying at home or working outside of it. And that week, I decided I never wanted to be referred to as a feminist if that meant criticizing women for wanting to raise their children or even having children, for that matter.
My mother is an intelligent and talented woman. When I was little, she worked in the medical field, and I stayed with either family or sitters. When my sister was born, she chose to stay at home with us. Then, when I was in 7th grade, she went back to school to finish her master’s and went to work full time. She loved her work, and she loved us, and I watched and learned as she and my father juggled two working schedules and two kids who needed different levels of involvement and care.
Fast forward to my husband and I starting a family. I was pregnant with our oldest while studying for my doctoral comprehensives. The university was a two hour commute from where we lived, and my due date fell during the week of orals, so I had to get special permission to move them up one week. My research year followed, so I was home with her, but then I was required to teach two days a week, plus office hours. So I packed my 18 month old up in the car (did I mention I had a two hour commute both ways??), and thankfully, my parents would drive one hour from the other direction, take her while I taught, and then we would spend the night in my childhood home. The next day, we would drive three hours back home so we could both sleep in our own beds.
I realized two things: I very much wanted to stay at home with our child and any future children AND I was tired of teaching other people’s kids, even if they were technically adults. So I stayed at home with her, and our son … and then my husband lost his job when our second child was only 6 months old.
He immediately took on three jobs to make ends meet. I am still in awe of all he was willing to do to keep me at home with him. Meanwhile, I did everything I could to contribute, from couponing to consignment sales, working weekends and selling at farmer’s markets. My parents were also a huge source of support. Looking back, while I wouldn’t wish those times on anyone, we grew so much and even in times of drought, our children benefited from having me home.
A few years later, we added baby #3. I’m still at home, and we added homeschooling to the mix. I learned about affiliate marketing, MLM’s, and creating programs from my strengths. Do I fit the current definition of feminism? Absolutely not, and I wear that as a badge of honor. I don’t want to be part of a group of women who constantly criticize other women. Now, if you are someone helping to redefine things, and you believe a feminist is someone who supports women staying at home, working from home, working outside the home, being an entrepreneur, or a combo of all of the above … I adore you, and feel free to call me whatever you like.
Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. That means if you click through and make a purchase within a certain time frame, I may earn a small commission—paid by the retailer, not you. It’s one of the ways I support this little business of mine, and it allows me to keep writing, sharing, and chronicling life here at Ginnyhoo. As always, I only recommend things I truly use, love, or would happily tell a friend about across the kitchen table.
First of all, congratulations! As a parent, you are exploring your child’s educational needs, and that deserves to be celebrated.
It is easy to feel overwhelmed by the plethora of information available and have trouble deciding where to start. Don't worry! This blog post will guide you through the essentials of homeschooling, breaking it down into easily manageable steps. Let's embark on this exciting journey together. If you are like me and love a good printable checklist, I've included one for you here.
find out the homeschooling laws for your state
I've seen it time and time again. Parents get excited about the idea of homeschooling, they jump into Facebook groups and start asking questions, and mostly well-meaning people sometimes give them bad info. Before you ever start, you need to read the homeschool laws for your specific state. Those laws can vary widely, with some states having little to no regulation, while others require documentation and regular assessments. If you are uncertain where to find the laws for your state, HSLDA has a complete list.
choose your educational philosophy and curricula
Once you understand the legal aspects, it is time to decide what you want your child's education to look like and which materials suit each child's learning style. Do you prefer a more traditional, structured approach, or a child-centered, flexible methodology? The beauty of homeschooling is its adaptability to your child's unique needs and interests. So, choose a curriculum that aligns with your educational philosophy and your child's learning style. Cathy Duffy's Top 101 Picks is a valuable source for this, and a copy can also usually be found at your local library.
it's okay to ditch a curriculum that isn’t working
.I hear you - I used to have a hard time accepting this, too, especially if it was an expensive one. Take it from someone who learned the hard way: it is NOT worth taking away from your child's love of learning, or even worse, damaging your relationship to finish out a curriculum that clearly isn't working. The ultimate goal is your child's learning and development, and if a particular curriculum isn't facilitating that, it's okay to let it go. Remember, educational needs can change, and adapting to those changes is part of the homeschooling process.
socialization isn’t a problem
In the beginning, you may get this question quite a bit. Some of those asking will be friends and family, but pre-2020, I found the most curious people to be those in the grocery store who simply could not comprehend why children would be out of school at 10AM on a Tuesday. Usually, the only folks concerned about socialization are those who have never spent time around a homeschooler. There is a myriad of opportunities for social interaction, and more importantly, these are usually with various age groups, races, economic backgrounds, etc. You know, in short, more like real life than a 5th grade classroom.
Here's the reality: homeschoolers actually have to turn down social opportunities to fit academics in. Your child can have meaningful interactions with a wide variety of people through service opportunities, church, sports, music, homeschool co-ops, 4H, Scouting, internships, employment, and more.
Take field trips without crowds
Okay, this one may sound silly, but it's really simply a reminder to embrace the flexibility that comes along with homeschooling. Explore museums, parks, and historical sites at your own pace, and make the world your classroom. There are many places that offer homeschool days and discounts while public school is in session. Don't see a date that meets your needs? Ask the business or organization! You'll be amazed how many are willing to work with you.
make memories while making a mess in the kitchen
Homeschooling is a wonderful opportunity for teaching life skills and turning everyday activities into fun learning experiences. These moments of joy and discovery will create lasting memories and foster a love of learning in your child. Bonus is that if you teach them to cook, they will have taken over dinner duties before you know it, occasionally giving you the evening off.
accept that priorities will change
This can be a tough one, even if you understand it going in. You see, there will be people you love who don't "get it." For me, I knew my usually tidy house was going to take a backseat as home became the classroom, the library, the cafeteria, the theatre, and more. I was okay with that, and some family members were decidedly not. Another aspect can be financial challenges, especially if one parent is moving from a full time job to staying at home. As long as you are aware of these changes before you start, they don't have to be a complication.
Finally, remember that there will be tough days. Homeschooling can be challenging, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed at times. But these moments don't mean you have failed. Instead, they're opportunities to learn, grow, and adapt.
This educational choice is a rewarding journey of discovery, learning, and growth. It's not always easy, but the beauty of it lies in its adaptability and the opportunity to nurture your child's unique potential. So, take the plunge, embrace the challenges, and celebrate the joys of homeschooling!
Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. That means if you click through and make a purchase within a certain time frame, I may earn a small commission—paid by the retailer, not you. It’s one of the ways I support this little business of mine, and it allows me to keep writing, sharing, and chronicling life here at Ginnyhoo. As always, I only recommend things I truly use, love, or would happily tell a friend about across the kitchen table.
Let’s face it, no one is learning if child and/or teacher are miserable. While it can be hard to toss aside plans, here’s your permission slip to do so.
- I get it. You invested good money into those books and materials. But what if I told you that you can recoup most, if not all of that cost? There are plenty of places to resell curricula. Social media has options, as well as homeschool conventions. You may be part of a co-op that allows it. Maybe your church will allow you to start a used book sale once or twice a year? Think outside the box. ALSO, remember that children within the same family learn very differently. If you have physical space and financial room, I would encourage you to hang onto that stuff in case a younger sibling falls in love with it.
- What if you no longer had to argue with your child to get them to do their work? What if it actually gave you more freedom during the day? Bringing PEACE and JOY to your home. Wouldn’t that encourage your child to pursue other things they are interested in learning? And you would have more time to recharge/have fun/focus on marriage.
- You’ll gain confidence, and your child will learn a valuable lesson - their educational and emotional needs come first. And I don’t mean in a “you get whatever you want kind of way.” It’s that you listened to their concerns. At the end of the day, there are times when they are still going to have to do school work they don’t want because you, as the adult, understand the value in it. But by getting rid of a program that is not valuing that particular child, you are instilling something much more important than book learning. And that is a positive character trait they will carry for their entire lives.
Want some more details of how it worked for my family? I've got you covered.
Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. That means if you click through and make a purchase within a certain time frame, I may earn a small commission—paid by the retailer, not you. It’s one of the ways I support this little business of mine, and it allows me to keep writing, sharing, and chronicling life here at Ginnyhoo. As always, I only recommend things I truly use, love, or would happily tell a friend about across the kitchen table.
